Fear of strangers

Children form close bonds of love and trust with important people in their lives, particularly their parents or their main caregiver. Many babies develop a fear of strangers, generally sometime between 5 and 12 months of age, and this often lasts until they are up to two years old. They may even seem afraid of people they know fairly well, such as their grandparents. Not all babies are fearful of strangers, but most are for a while. They are more likely to be afraid if they have had little contact with people outside their immediate family.


Ways you can help your baby

It is better not to force your baby to go to a stranger, but allow him to look at the person from the security of your lap. Your baby can pick up your feelings of confidence in others, and learn that they are safe to be with.

You can reassure grandparents and others who love the baby that this will not last; it is part of learning to deal with a big new world. If you plan to leave your baby, it helps if the baby has become used to the child minder before being left.

Start with short separations at first and gradually increase the amount of time. Many children have a special comfort object – a dummy, favorite blanket, piece of cloth, etc. It helps them feel safe, relax and to go to sleep while you are apart. See the topic 'Dummies, thumbs and other comforters'. It is also helpful, if a baby is being left with someone else, to keep routines as much as possible like those at home.