April 16, 2010

Price Your Name





What’s the deal with names now days?   I’ve recently seen names such as “Forever”, “Blanket”, “Chastity”, Banjo” and I’ve even read about a baby named “Adolf Hitler” in New Jersey.  The baker wouldn’t put poor little Adolf’s name on his birthday cake because it was offensive.  Obviously both the kid’s parents AND the baker are all attention seeking nothings for calling the kid that imprudent name and for not putting his name on the stupid cake.  Does a kid need a name that’s going to bring him more angst into his childhood?  Children are cruel little cave people as it is… why give them a club to hit you.  Joking and teasing can make children self-conscious about their names and reluctant to have any contact with other children out of fear of being ridiculed.  This can transition into greater psychological problems later in life
                                                                                                      

 In this fine country of ours, we can name our offspring any idiotic sound we want.  I can name my kid “Pffffffrrnt” if I choose.  The name of my child can sound similar to the sound of passing gas.  “Hey Pffffffrrnt, clean your room.”  I guess there might be a point where a soon to be parent thinks “what does my name say about my personality?”   My child will have a great name… a name I wish I could have for myself.  Names like Samuel and Robert or Elizabeth and Rebecca are way too common to pass on to the next generation.   The only way names of that same ilk continue to exist is through juniors, thirds and so on.  I suppose the idea of being original does appeal to me but if you call your child Banjo… you should be hit over the head with a banjo.  I’m not much for name meanings but how does being called a string instrument associated with rural America help your little boy.  What if Lil’ Banjo has no musical talent, then what?


When I asked myself what does my name mean, I came to the realization that it doesn’t matter what it means as much as it matters what I think it means and how people perceive me for it.  The most crucial aspect of personality affected by names is self-concept. Self-concept develops as children develop, and it is learned from messages important people in children's lives send them.  Parents are the most important message senders until children mature and become more and more independent.  It’s then that the messages of teachers, classmates, and other people begin to contribute to their developing concepts of self. In a way, self-concept works as a kind of script for the way people act.  If a boy has an image of himself as bad or as not capable of doing well in school, his behavior will probably reflect that image. He will tend to behave the way he thinks a "bad boy" is supposed to behave, or he will fail to learn as he should even though he might be quite intelligent.  A name like Adolf  would undoubtedly bring thoughts of hatred.  So every time that name is said, there is a negative association to the name that causes a person to act unfairly or even harshly to the individual in spite of the child being a sweetheart.

  Women have it a little easier on this subject.  Girls are given unusual names much more often than boys are. So their names don’t attract as much attention and are less likely to cause embarrassment for the girls who have them. Because of this, unusual female names do less damage to the self-concepts of the girls as they develop during childhood and adolescence.  Unless a girl’s name is Brunhilda or Jezebel, she less likely to be badgered.  This greater toleration may be a kind of deep-seated, unconscious sexism that says, in effect, men need serious, traditional names to suit their serious concerns, but women, who won't be engaged in serious pursuits, don't…  Who knows these things?




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